About Macaws

Some people have asked about macaws, what we like to eat, why we behave the way we do and so forth and so on. So, instead of entertaining you with more stupid human Internet tricks I thought I’d do a Macaw Q&A session.

Q1. Why Don’t You Like Orange Pellets?

A1. Two reasons. First of all, the color is unappealing. Us macaws see more shades of color than you humans. Something that looks fine to your puny eyes looks putrid to us. You see, my wild brethren have to spot tasty fresh fruit from miles away while keeping an eye out for predators, namely you humans and big snakes. This means we have excellent 360 degree vision, not to mention a very discerning eye. Second reason, they taste awful as compared to bananas.

Q2: Why Do You Like Bananas So Much?

A2: Because they taste good! I also like other fruits as well, such as grapes and cherries, but bananas are my favorite.

Q3: Do Macaws Bite?

A3: Stick your finger a little closer to my beak and find out.

Q4: Do Macaws Live to be 100 Years Old?

A4: Perhaps, but, like with humans, it’s rare. We are subject to disease and old age just like humans as they get older, but we don’t have the level of medical care humans do. With proper care and a little luck and maybe just the right amount of bananas, a macaw can live to be between 50 and 70 years old. I was hatched in 2000 so I’m still a spring chicken.

Q5: Can You Talk?

A5: Yes, and I can type too. Macaws do talk but we aren’t refined speakers like an African Gray Parrot or some Amazon parrots. We get excited easy and will lapse into pure macaw-ese squawking quickly. I have a vocabulary of about 30 words but I only use 10 of them regularly. I’ll bet you can guess one that starts with ‘B’.

Q6: Are Macaws Endangered In The Wild?

Q6: Yes, they are. This is primarily due to deforestation and illegal pet trade. I was hatched right here in the USA as were my parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. I’ve been around people all my life, from the moment of my hatching, so I could never live in the wild safely. I would be 100% clueless. However, wild parrots are still grabbed in the wild which is bad, not to mention illegal. If you want to put up with a macaw or any other parrot as a pet, make sure that you buy one from a reputable breeder who hand raises them.

That’s all I have time for right now. If you have any questions about what it is like to be a macaw’s human, please feel free to ask.

Links of the Day: Fun Stuff

Even macaws have to laugh. In fact, we’re a pretty funny species. One of my favorite jokes is to bite a human on the finger, say “Ow!” and then have a big laugh about it. Dull humans rarely see the humor in this though. I have no idea why they don’t. Anyhoo here are some fun things I found while munching on some orange pellets.

Have you ever wanted to be an Evil Overlord? This site gives you some important tips becoming one based on avoiding the standard movie cliches.

Now here’s something that’s unintentionally funny, my thoughts for the day. Some people take themselves waaaay too seriously. Pretty site but the content is laughable, especially the adversion to capital letters.

Google is the king of search, right? This post, 5 Weird And Hilarious Google Search Results, takes a look at a few unintended consequences of searching for stuff on Google.

And, last up before I start screaming for bananas, here are some cats assembling a Christmas tree. Kitties, it is much more fun to take down a tree, trust me.

OK, I did my post for the day. Now where is that human with my bananas?

Links of the Day: Crime Prevention

If you think like I do then not getting a few slices of banana a day is a crime, something worth squawking about. But, if we’re realistic, there are many real crimes out there so let’s take a look at some bloggers who’re helping others prevent becoming a victim of a crime.

Penlangisenja gives some good, common sense advice in the Yahoo 360 post: Crime Prevention - Your Role. The Sacramento Bee also has this excellent advice from a police officer: Crime wave elicits prevention strategies

It looks like the Mesa Arizona Wal-Mart doesn’t think much about crime prevention: Walmart snubs Mesa Az police shoplifting advise. Of course, those door greeters are so freakin’ annoying but I guess they don’t get too many bananas in their job so I guess they take it out on customers.

Harley Nash points out this kind of troublesome auto part theft: Catalytic Converter Thieves. Another reason why to avoid a large vehicle unless you need to haul a large bird around.

Well, if you want to keep criminal’s hands off your bananas you better check around and make sure you’re doing all you can do to prevent crime. Otherwise, you might be left with only orange pellets to eat.

Links of the Day: Celebrity Gossip

These days you can’t turn around on the Internet and not run into yet another wannabe gossip columinist. It can drive you bananas.

Here’s one, Jennifer Tant and Chris Cagle BOTH Jailed For Domestic Assault by someone just getting started out in the field. No splashy paparazzi photos, pretty dull and to the point.

Oops! I turned around and brushed my tail feathers up against another one, Masha Markova’s Mink Coat Stolen By Lindsay Lohan. Geez, you would think these guys go to the same stylist, wouldn’t you.

Of course, the big banana in the area of celeb gossip is TMZ.com. They got all the gossip you could want about the “30 Mile Zone” in LA although they sometimes forget about us in fly over country. Ha HA! I’m a bird and I said “fly over”! Look out below! Bombs away!

OK, I’m better now.

Check out these gossip columnist new and old and see what you think, orange pellets or bananas?

 

 

Links of the Day: Diet and Exercise

Today’s topic is diet and exercise. I keep a slim and trim body so that I can fly off, even with clipped wings. But, I know a lot of you humans are fat bodies like the guy who occasionally remembers to feed me so maybe some of these links can help you out.

If you want to get a good workout, check out what Chris is saying about Bosu Exercises For a Full Body Workout. That exercise will take care of those flabby sides.

Now, here’s somebody who is just plain wrong, wrong, wrong! Over at Fat Lady Singz she says Did you Know Bananas are BAD!!! Bananas are the best fruit ever! If you eat them with vanilla wafers or peanut butter that may be a bit much but by themselves they’re deeee-liiii-cious and good for you too!!!! YUM!!!!!

It looks like everybody’s favorite yo-yo dieter, Oprah, is going to go on yet another round of fad dieting called “Quantum Wellness“ and every housewife around the country will certainly  follow her: Oprah Goes on 21-Day Cleanse Diet. The food plan doesn’t sound too bad though. I could live on blueberries and walnuts. Blueberries make wonderful art when you fling them on the wall too. Try it sometime.

Last up, check out this article on MSNBC: 10 diet flubs — and how to fix them. Good advice if you don’t want to be a fat body with a computer gut like my ‘dad’. Check it out!

 

Links of the Day: Guitar

The guy who occasionally remembers to bring me food and water and maybe a banana or two thought I should squawk about guitars today. He likes to play guitar, badly I might add, while I sing along in my own unique and wonderful style. One of these days I’ll sink my beak into some nice mahogany, you just wait and see.

The first stop today is Desi Serna’s Guitar Music Theory Lessons site. Yeah, he’s selling his lesson plans but he’s got plenty of free stuff you can learn from too. Look up his videos on YouTube also.

Wall Street Fighter tells the tale of the most expensive guitar pick in the world, World’s Most Expensive Guitar Picks- $4,674. That would buy a lot of bananas.

Here’s an ugly Blogger site that has some info about Fender Short Scale Guitars. Good info, especially for a Blogger blog which are usually crap. It is an ugly site though.

Let’s wind this up with one of the best and oldest guitar sites around, Harmony Central. They’ve been around since 1996. Still kinda ugly but great music info.

Links of the Day: Age of Conan

I’m going to start squawking about something new. I’m going to start looking up interesting topics and post some of the more interesting or more ugly sites on that topic that I find in my searches.

Today’s topic is the new MMORPG, Age of Conan. Here’s what I found:

The source for a lot of info on the game: Age of Conan Wiki

A nice overview of the game right here on WordPress.com: Age of Conan Launches… Smoothly?

A really ugly site by an enthusiastic young fan who had trouble in 6th grade English: Age of Conan Fan

Gamespot Review for the game

YouTube Promo Video

Age of Conan on WarCry Network.

Somebody using an Age of Conan Squidoo page to setup a gold exchange for the game. And here’s somebody who’s promising to do your dirty work for you: Age of Conan Leveling.

All in all we have people who enjoy the game and those who want to make some bananas off of it and some who want to do both. Check ‘em all out and I’ll squawk at you later.

Mark Lind & The Unloved

OK, I’ve know that some of you musical mammals can create some ugly MySpace pages but you can bet your bottom banana that Mark Lind & The Unloved have one of the ugliest musician MySpace pages around. A clashing background meets unreadable text, it’s enough to make you regurgitate your vanilla wafers, and not in a good way either!

The good news is that Mark and the fellows play some pretty good rootsy, alt-rock, tunes. So, just close your eyes and listen and you’ll enjoy yourself. Check ‘em out when you get a chance, just don’t look!

MelB’s Ugly Duckling Blog

Nothing makes me squawk louder than only having orange pellets in my food bowl but seeing an ugly website like this one by MelB can inspire me to squawk almost as loudly. Mel posted this a link to this blog on one of my Dad’s favorite blogs about Internet Marketing and, since I love to squawk about ugly websites, I had to check this one out on his recommendation.

Does Mel expect anyone to actually read this mess? Does he have something to hide from the world or something? Even my superior macaw vision that sees far more color than the human eye could barely stand to read it. Even when I did manage to read his single post I had to squawk out loud (SOL in macaw chat talk). It said almost nothing. I’ve read food bag labels that were more inspiring!

OK, so maybe he’s just getting started out with this blog. Maybe this ugly duckling will blossom into a beautiful swan. I myself was ugly for a couple of weeks before I grew feathers. I’ll give MelB the benefit of the doubt and see where he goes with this. He’s obviously got a ways to go with his blog but I wish him well with it even if it’s quite ugly right now.

Cyclist Goes Bananas

Splork likes to ride his bicycle but sometimes people driving in those noisy, smelly, scary things bother him like they do me. I upchuck everytime I have to ride in one when Mom and Dad drag me places. I’d prefer to fly but they don’t let me do that.

Anyhoo, Splork did this little rant about bicycling on Hub Pages: I Am a Cyclist. In it he squawks about how annoying he finds drivers of cars and how disrespectful they are of his self-powered efforts. It’s a good, high quality, rant, worthy of the very picky Hub Pages site. My only disagreement with him is that he suggests automobile drivers allow snakes to live. I hates snakes and I fully support people running over those nasty egg eaters!

You folks driving cars in the Nashville area be nice on the road. Don’t do mean things to folks like Splork on bicycles and make them go bananas. You do have my permission to run over snakes though.